I've been a big girl my whole life. I don't really remember ever being skinny, and honestly... I don't think I ever wanted to be. Yeah, there were times when people made me feel like I *should* want to lose weight, but deep down I always liked being soft. I just didn't know why.
Food has always been one of my favorite things. Not just eating because I was hungry, but actually enjoying it. Looking forward to dinner all day, getting excited when someone suggested going out to eat, trying new restaurants, ordering dessert even when I said I wasn't going to. I love those moments when you take that first bite and you just have to close your eyes because it's *that* good. I don't think I've ever understood people who eat just to get it over with.
I remember being younger and watching people around me push food away or say stuff like, "I shouldn't be eating this." Meanwhile I was sitting there thinking... why? If it tastes good and it makes you happy, why are we acting like it's something to be ashamed of?
I think that's when I started realizing I looked at food differently than most people.
The first time I realized I might actually be into feederism wasn't because somebody fed me or anything like that. It was honestly just me falling down a rabbit hole online one night. I found people talking about being feedees, and I got curious.
The more I read, the more I kept thinking, "Wait... people actually feel like this too?"
It wasn't even about gaining weight at first. It was the fact that there were people who genuinely loved bigger bodies and didn't see them as something that needed to be fixed. That hit me hard.
I spent so much of my life hearing that I'd be prettier if I lost weight or healthier if I changed myself. Then I found a community where people were saying the exact opposite. They loved softness. They loved full bellies, thick thighs, round faces, and everything I'd spent years trying not to notice about myself.
It felt... comforting.
I won't lie, I love eating. I love sitting down with a huge meal that I've been craving all week. I love taking my time instead of rushing through it. I love when the food is so good that you keep saying, "Just one more bite," until you realize your plate is empty. Those moments make me genuinely happy.
Some people get excited over shopping or traveling. I get excited over finding a restaurant I've never been to or finally trying something I've been seeing all over social media. Food is an experience to me. It's comforting, exciting, and honestly one of my favorite parts of life.
When I accepted that about myself, I stopped feeling guilty every time I enjoyed a meal.
Finding feederism honestly helped me understand myself more than anything. It gave a name to feelings I'd had for years but couldn't explain. I realized I wasn't weird for loving my body or for enjoying food the way I do.
Being a feedee, for me, isn't about forcing anything. It's about embracing the parts of myself that I've always had. I like being a BBW. I like feeling soft. I like eating until I'm completely satisfied after a meal I've been craving. That's just who I am.
I know not everybody understands it, and that's okay. I'm not looking for everyone to understand.
I'm looking for someone who smiles when I get excited about food. Someone who doesn't make me feel guilty for ordering dessert. Someone who thinks my body is beautiful exactly the way it is and doesn't spend every conversation trying to change me.
Life is too short to spend it pretending you don't enjoy the things that make you happy.
For me, that's good food, a full belly, and being comfortable in my own skin.
It took me a long time to stop apologizing for that.
Now I don't.
I'm a BBW. I'm a feedee. I love food, I love my body, and I finally feel like I've found a place where I don't have to explain why.
Food has always been one of my favorite things. Not just eating because I was hungry, but actually enjoying it. Looking forward to dinner all day, getting excited when someone suggested going out to eat, trying new restaurants, ordering dessert even when I said I wasn't going to. I love those moments when you take that first bite and you just have to close your eyes because it's *that* good. I don't think I've ever understood people who eat just to get it over with.
I remember being younger and watching people around me push food away or say stuff like, "I shouldn't be eating this." Meanwhile I was sitting there thinking... why? If it tastes good and it makes you happy, why are we acting like it's something to be ashamed of?
I think that's when I started realizing I looked at food differently than most people.
The first time I realized I might actually be into feederism wasn't because somebody fed me or anything like that. It was honestly just me falling down a rabbit hole online one night. I found people talking about being feedees, and I got curious.
The more I read, the more I kept thinking, "Wait... people actually feel like this too?"
It wasn't even about gaining weight at first. It was the fact that there were people who genuinely loved bigger bodies and didn't see them as something that needed to be fixed. That hit me hard.
I spent so much of my life hearing that I'd be prettier if I lost weight or healthier if I changed myself. Then I found a community where people were saying the exact opposite. They loved softness. They loved full bellies, thick thighs, round faces, and everything I'd spent years trying not to notice about myself.
It felt... comforting.
I won't lie, I love eating. I love sitting down with a huge meal that I've been craving all week. I love taking my time instead of rushing through it. I love when the food is so good that you keep saying, "Just one more bite," until you realize your plate is empty. Those moments make me genuinely happy.
Some people get excited over shopping or traveling. I get excited over finding a restaurant I've never been to or finally trying something I've been seeing all over social media. Food is an experience to me. It's comforting, exciting, and honestly one of my favorite parts of life.
When I accepted that about myself, I stopped feeling guilty every time I enjoyed a meal.
Finding feederism honestly helped me understand myself more than anything. It gave a name to feelings I'd had for years but couldn't explain. I realized I wasn't weird for loving my body or for enjoying food the way I do.
Being a feedee, for me, isn't about forcing anything. It's about embracing the parts of myself that I've always had. I like being a BBW. I like feeling soft. I like eating until I'm completely satisfied after a meal I've been craving. That's just who I am.
I know not everybody understands it, and that's okay. I'm not looking for everyone to understand.
I'm looking for someone who smiles when I get excited about food. Someone who doesn't make me feel guilty for ordering dessert. Someone who thinks my body is beautiful exactly the way it is and doesn't spend every conversation trying to change me.
Life is too short to spend it pretending you don't enjoy the things that make you happy.
For me, that's good food, a full belly, and being comfortable in my own skin.
It took me a long time to stop apologizing for that.
Now I don't.
I'm a BBW. I'm a feedee. I love food, I love my body, and I finally feel like I've found a place where I don't have to explain why.
11 hours
